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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 8172
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm

GlobalElephant's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (7132)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (7132)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21891) - you deserved it (10074)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (3790)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5528) - you deserved it (31230)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8595) - you deserved it (57703)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9927) - you deserved it (32767)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5641) - you deserved it (41777)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

#1774
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7391) - you deserved it (14361)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12pm - love - by Noname - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

#1517
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22940) - you deserved it (1972)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10679) - you deserved it (39575)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10679) - you deserved it (39575)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

#1459
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5775) - you deserved it (35870)

On 01/17/2009 at 1:41pm - health - by zaneey - Australia (New South Wales)



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