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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 9147
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm

GlobalElephant's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (6929)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15634) - you deserved it (68154)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15634) - you deserved it (68154)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15634) - you deserved it (68154)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (4664)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

#2505
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7276) - you deserved it (30754)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (2162)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (7138)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (7138)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (10086)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (3791)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5542) - you deserved it (31266)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8610) - you deserved it (57797)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9941) - you deserved it (32818)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)



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