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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 8163
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm

GlobalElephant's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (4934)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

#4028
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39288) - you deserved it (14571)

On 01/31/2009 at 8:51am - misc - by ayw329 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (2828)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8842) - you deserved it (33123)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (4403)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50126) - you deserved it (6817)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6730) - you deserved it (26552)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (6797)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15606) - you deserved it (68072)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15606) - you deserved it (68072)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15606) - you deserved it (68072)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22522) - you deserved it (4660)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

#2505
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7262) - you deserved it (30718)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16968) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38563) - you deserved it (5228)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)



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