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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 13724
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm

GlobalElephant's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38514) - you deserved it (8193)

On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (36312)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (36312)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

#7338
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (14741)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - animals - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38921) - you deserved it (1908)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7270) - you deserved it (37095)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

#6753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5673) - you deserved it (64369)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by WestboroBC (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (29483)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

#6715
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28409) - you deserved it (3776)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:38pm - love - by Sam - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46211) - you deserved it (3487)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60682) - you deserved it (4965)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7830) - you deserved it (30603)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15681) - you deserved it (44989)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

#5874
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10405) - you deserved it (27910)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25161) - you deserved it (10391)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)



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