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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant
  • Town/Country : Montreal, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2587
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's last visitors

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

#114016
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66462) - you deserved it (8967)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML

#107726
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (15942)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

#106107
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29416) - you deserved it (3901)

On 02/22/2009 at 5:55pm - misc - by Hello my name is (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

#104112
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (10695)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:02pm - health - by amandapurple (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9365) - you deserved it (27046)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

#99356
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (75922)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82287) - you deserved it (5508)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

#94927
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42110) - you deserved it (2589)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (2050)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41351) - you deserved it (3308)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9022) - you deserved it (37716)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (2361)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (7297)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50377) - you deserved it (7992)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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