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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 10495
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm

GlobalElephant's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked grlfriendhen she would give me a blowjob!! She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63766) - you deserved it (28489)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, I GOT MY EYEBROWS WAXED FIR THE FIRST TIME IN A FEW MONTHS . ONCE SHE FINISHED, SHE HANDED ME THE MIRROR AN ASKED, "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOOK HUMAN AGAIN?" REAL FML

#194901
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43925) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by bluedevil26 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I Was Sitting Beside This Cute Guy On A Bench. Suddenly, He Goes, "I Know We Don't Know Each Other Very Well, But Would You Lyk To Have Dinner On Saturday?" I Turn To Him With A Goofy Smile, And Exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He Gives Me A Weird Look, Turns His Head And Points To His Bluetooth. FML

#194587
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74268) - you deserved it (20928)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was laying with mah girlfriend on the couch . I lookd at her and says "You're so beautiful . How did I ever get you?" She replid, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60372) - you deserved it (10550)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, at work a woman cummd up to the check out counter an when I greetd her she said ( oh honey, u are so beautiful! ) I immediately smild an thankd her, then she lookd at me an said ( oh, not you. ) an then pointd to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

#184275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46107) - you deserved it (6277)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:58pm - work - by kimosabe (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I cummd to work, to fine my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to fine him there. I askd how he was, an he replid, "I told my wife about us; she kickd me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm marrid an pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" mega FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91553) - you deserved it (4712)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower an hitting the insanely high notes . My father ran into the bathroom an threw open the shower door, screaming . He thought I was wailing in pain . FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (43330)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old!! She just learned how to say yes so if u asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes!! I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty..!! she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61649) - you deserved it (13480)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was drunk at mah nan's brthday party!! My boyfriend textd me asking if I could go out, to which I replid "No, I'm at mah nan's house." He then dumpd me, calling me a 'cheating whore. I was confusd, until I realisd I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at mah man's house." FML

#169078
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (42760)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, looool I went to get a sports pysical at a ospital. My nurse was morbidly obese an unattractive. Se told me se would go troug te tests listd on te seet. Se did everyting, including feeling my genitalia. Wen it was done, I read over te seet. Genitalia wasn't a test listd. FML

#162461
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163244) - you deserved it (14865)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Taday wile at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunc of kids. We joked around tat tey were ( going to bake a giant cake. ) Wen I got ome I found out someone ad egged my ouse. FML

#158702
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47228) - you deserved it (8400)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:30am - work - by eggs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, MAH BOSS SAID HE WAS GIVING ME A SIGNIFICANT RAISE. AFTER HE REQUESTED THE PAYROLL DEPARTMENT TO RAISE MAH SALARY THEY INFORMED HIM HE NEEDED TO FILL OUT A ONE-SHEET FORM. HE TOOK MAH RAISE AWAY CUZ HE DIDN'T WANT TO FILL OUT THAT SHEET. FML

#154769
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63337) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps cuz she didn't get invited to a brthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Righthen we arrived, we walked in on a brthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

#154710
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56397) - you deserved it (6370)

On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH MY PARENTS WHEN MY DAD ASKED MY MOM IF SHE KNEW WHERE HE COULD FINE SOME DOUBLE A BATTERIES. SHE SAID TO CHECK MY VIBRATOR. HE SAID HE ALREADY DID. FML

2day I went to go get a harcut an I asked how much it was fir a harcut, shampoo, an a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. fat FML

#145421
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17865) - you deserved it (50244)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)



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