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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4905
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:54am

GlobalElephant's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35373) - you deserved it (6783)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
69 comments

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36744) - you deserved it (10633)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (12360)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33607) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (4645)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (3654)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (5398)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (9220)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53640) - you deserved it (3909)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55086) - you deserved it (4424) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40456) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia



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