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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 10496
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm

GlobalElephant's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today , I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bd with a hand down her pants , totally zond out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. mega FML

#20529387
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (6877)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT GIRLFRIEND CAN DO HEATH LEDGER'S "JOKER" VOICE PERFECTLY. I'M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE SCARED OR IMPRESSED. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (6380)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

TODAY IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX, MAH GIRLFRIEND ASKED ME, "ARE U SURE YOUR A GUY?" I STILL HAVE NO IDEAHAT THAT WAS FOR. FML

#20529151
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked fir 2 years that I tan too much and dye mah hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed mah hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster . He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged . Turns out I'd left mah wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it . mega FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (41540)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

TODAY, I WENT TO A PAINTBALL MATCH WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS, ONE OF WHOM BROUGHT HIS DAD ALONG. HIS DAD IS A WIEGHT-LIFTING, WANNABE ALPHA MALE FUCKNUT WHO THINKS THAT CHOKESLAMMING OPPONENTS IS A LEGITIMATE CLOSE-QUARTERS PAINTBALL TACTIC. MY BROKEN SHOULDER DISAGREES. FML

#20528184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38550) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it an hit me. As I recovered an was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us!! We're getting looool marrid in six months!! FML

#20527880
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37058) - you deserved it (5536)

On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at mah class's band concert . Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a grl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen . I said, ( There, now your mom can see u play! ) She responded with, ( My mom's blind . ) FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (3732)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, boss gave me te task of fring a recently-rd coworker next Friday. Tis guy spends most of is off-ours working out, probably abusing te fuck out of steroids, an toom prison is lyk a bd-and-breakfast. I fear for life by tis point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Taday mah boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't trust himself to cheat on me!! What? real FML

#20526676
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (3725)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife packed my lunc . Inside of my luncbox was a poto of er eating my sandwices . FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (6795)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew fir him with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked along with the caption "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments


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