About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72968) - you deserved it (4293)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)
Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53608) - you deserved it (4790)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44376) - you deserved it (7480)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56393) - you deserved it (7992)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (52771) - you deserved it (7546)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46275) - you deserved it (2735)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52462) - you deserved it (5560)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (6398)
On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (17599)
On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52640) - you deserved it (9105)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54175) - you deserved it (14176)
Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35573) - you deserved it (3008)
On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59771) - you deserved it (6185)
On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86185) - you deserved it (3208)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44440) - you deserved it (3068)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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