Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

GlitterValentina

Search for a member

GlitterValentina

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2253
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About GlitterValentina : I love dogs, and own a little sweet Pekingese named Charlie. He is my child.

My name is Valentina. I'm an only child. I'm quite shy, and I do have a hearing problem (deaf in one ear at birth) I don't talk much, but I love helping others. What is it in human nature that makes us laugh at others' misfortune? The question perplexes me.

GlitterValentina's page activity

Visits<b>jordecai</b> - one hour ago<b>Zoldyck</b> - yesterday at 2:40pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:32pm<b>bballer4life820</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:18pm<b>PrincessKatiee</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 3:04am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:13pm<b>AshleeDanielle_</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:24pm<b>JustJacquie</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Shannonbena</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:01pm<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:03pm<b>tweetyzyaw</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 6:47am<b>awwgordy</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 2:01am<b>Craybon</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:26am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:24pm<b>persianjr</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Hierophobic</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:39am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 2:49pm<b>QueefBucket</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:08am

Liked!<b>Craybon</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:27pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 8:49pm

GlitterValentina's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of GlitterValentina's badges

GlitterValentina's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42427) - you deserved it (3714)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55464) - you deserved it (4723)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65853) - you deserved it (12652)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50607) - you deserved it (10863)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44496) - you deserved it (11463)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

#20583166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (4736)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50489) - you deserved it (4974)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (9708) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30631) - you deserved it (3022)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47709) - you deserved it (3282)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42792) - you deserved it (3956)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51318) - you deserved it (5652)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46199) - you deserved it (7971)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43899) - you deserved it (4403)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: