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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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GermanySucks

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GermanySucks
  • Town/Country : Stuttgart, Germany
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 August 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 748
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About GermanySucks : I like to be the guy who's brutally honest with people; if nothing else they should be able to appreciate the bluntness. I very much enjoy making an ass of myself and everyone else around me, God has a sense of humor, and who am I to refrain it? I'd like to think that God would find my constant sarcasm and shoddy one-liners hilarious....

So if anyone's interested in BS'ing or holding actual conversations with a grammar nazi, hit me up. :D

Oh yeah, and whether you're looking to get stabbed in MW2 or need a drummer on Rock Band (for the PS3 of course) hit me up!

http://www.last.fm/user/N0skills

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GermanySucks's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (14576) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

#14593657 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (2572)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

#14379912 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (8607)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (26462) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (6488)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (5662)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (5966) - you deserved it (15957)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (4712) - you deserved it (36908)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (17070) - you deserved it (1456)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (16210) - you deserved it (3791)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

#8555278 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (8533) - you deserved it (13107)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

#7997693 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (4883)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:21am - love - by cupcakemonsteryu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871 (28)

I agree, your life sucks (15948) - you deserved it (1321)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)