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GeniusInABottle

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GeniusInABottle

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 633
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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GeniusInABottle's page activity

Visits<b>mattjamt</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:47am<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:29pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:07pm<b>devilsaide</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:54pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:03pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:27am<b>yamzie47</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 12:20pm<b>sophiurr</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 4:57pm<b>trigger42</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:43pm<b>CASMITTY133</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 10:48pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Got7Dorks</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:09pm<b>jnunez0517</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Dailym27</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 4:31pm<b>tr_guy79</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:42pm<b>swick25</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:10pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:43am

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It’s in the can

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GeniusInABottle's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53697) - you deserved it (12932)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (8060)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51919) - you deserved it (8275)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (3251)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (64229)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42438) - you deserved it (3348)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42285) - you deserved it (14033)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48893) - you deserved it (4028)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

#20777593
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (49008)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45959) - you deserved it (12881)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (61406)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (8632)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (5625)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73455) - you deserved it (6508)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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