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Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (1518)
On 09/06/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by grossedout - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (2121)
On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19747) - you deserved it (6999)
On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21452) - you deserved it (7074)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2405)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (3155)
Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (3897)
On 09/05/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by stinky skunk - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (1688)
On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (3012)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)
Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (1565)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14288) - you deserved it (2863)
On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I was making hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6821) - you deserved it (19574)
On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (2672)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19162) - you deserved it (3892)
On 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm - love - by faceless_sailor8 - United States
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14713) - you deserved it (36647)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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