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Offline (the 11/08/2016 at 5:46pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1108
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About FlyingLeumer : Just getting along with life the best I can, while making the most of it at the same time.

FlyingLeumer's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 8:56pm<b>UofA</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 10:36am<b>Jayjaybrews</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 10:35am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:35pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:52am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 6:50am<b>RecklessNapkin</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 10:45pm<b>symfora</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:00pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 6:08pm<b>bps2007</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:06pm<b>lilferrit</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:34am<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:42am<b>7liv7</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:00am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:39pm<b>enderman99125</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:22pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:33am<b>woodbury32</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:15pm

Fucked!<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 12:50pm<b>RecklessNapkin</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:57pm

FlyingLeumer's FML badges


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FlyingLeumer's favorite FMLs

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

by forever young / 07/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

by Demotivation / 07/02/2013 at 10:35am / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

by lonely girl / 07/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

by Gracie-Ann / 07/01/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy