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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6884) - you deserved it (648)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3808) - you deserved it (6607)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been paying her half of the rent by taking my ATM card and getting money from my account. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6852) - you deserved it (1310)
On 05/13/2012 at 9:08am - money - by humbug - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1779) - you deserved it (10294)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9777) - you deserved it (23620)
On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7619) - you deserved it (1813)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1781) - you deserved it (6994)
On 05/06/2012 at 3:38am - misc - by penguindude82 - United States (Texas)
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (884) - you deserved it (18708)
On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6780) - you deserved it (804)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5065) - you deserved it (3722)
On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6668) - you deserved it (828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6335) - you deserved it (5008)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9179) - you deserved it (30456)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7260) - you deserved it (1146)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10969) - you deserved it (1609)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
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