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About FarSide : I relish dry, sarcastic wit, from both others and myself. I like bring out emotions from people... laughter, crying, anger, compassion.
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Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8982) - you deserved it (618)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9777) - you deserved it (1110)
On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (1070)
On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10554) - you deserved it (1947)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3696) - you deserved it (7507)
On 11/17/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by tramplily - United States
Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (1243)
On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8272) - you deserved it (1596)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7996) - you deserved it (827)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (2016)
On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (2596)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18190) - you deserved it (2089)
On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18552) - you deserved it (2697)
On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12727) - you deserved it (31640) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5120) - you deserved it (8237)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (2873)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)
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