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False_Stupidity

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False_Stupidity

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1975 (38 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3895
  • Number of comments : 1881
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

#18441721
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (5107)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by brando2k5 - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43659) - you deserved it (2966)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (4264)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (2256)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (7941)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (3508)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (6541)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (10365)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30489) - you deserved it (2576)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

#18080795
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27009) - you deserved it (6747)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm - health - by lanikai610 - United States

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (32341)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (1862)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (17676)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28827) - you deserved it (3548)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

#17985253
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12361) - you deserved it (36032)

On 10/14/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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