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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 September 1965 (50 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9364
  • Number of comments : 3247
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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I told you there was nothing here, but you just had to look!

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46113) - you deserved it (4219)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27370) - you deserved it (2713)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (4080)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (15247) - you deserved it (58453) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (21003)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (1940)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (3124)

On 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (3243)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10119) - you deserved it (28082)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21715) - you deserved it (10222)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (2701)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (2279)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

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