Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

False_Stupidity

Online | Search for a member

False_Stupidity

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 September 1975 (39 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4596
  • Number of comments : 2059
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along












... See!
I told you there was nothing here, but you just had to look!

False_Stupidity's page activity

Visits<b>ManateeRex</b> - 10 hours ago<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - 18 hours ago<b>amicusbriefs</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Medic2012</b> - 19 hours ago<b>CountEjacula</b> - 19 hours ago<b>cfojo</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - yesterday at 8:03am<b>skulltorn</b> - yesterday at 5:57am<b>ecot95</b> - yesterday at 10:00pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:29am<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:09pm<b>jcast0627</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:18pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:20pm<b>brettg87</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:16pm<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:59am<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>Tipperson</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:03pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:25pm

Liked!<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:35pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:56am<b>TheViPeRisT</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:00am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:32am<b>thorus</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:13am

False_Stupidity's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of False_Stupidity's badges

False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

#19226913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35005) - you deserved it (5312)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

#18441721
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (5128)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by brando2k5 - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43752) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45501) - you deserved it (4287)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27562) - you deserved it (2258)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (7947)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (3516)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (6546)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (10379)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (2581)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

#18080795
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (6756)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm - health - by lanikai610 - United States

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (32383)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (1863)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (17708)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: