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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 September 1965 (50 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9075
  • Number of comments : 3139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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I told you there was nothing here, but you just had to look!

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (4598)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36039) - you deserved it (2477)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm - money - by stolen-car - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (1868)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41219) - you deserved it (4375)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33726) - you deserved it (4942)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (5112)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33539) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61618) - you deserved it (3404)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24379) - you deserved it (6498)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33975) - you deserved it (2163)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (2864)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (1970)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

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