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False_Stupidity

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False_Stupidity
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1975 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 2682
  • Number of comments : 1628
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55189) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18842) - you deserved it (5627)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24503) - you deserved it (2464)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (1489)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38706) - you deserved it (3515)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (2135)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

#19476340
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (1532)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

#19464550
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (3537)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11635) - you deserved it (51493) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

#19409453
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (16589)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (1588)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

#19395712
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13773) - you deserved it (2092)

On 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (2731)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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