Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

False_Stupidity

Online | Search for a member

False_Stupidity

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1975 (38 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3890
  • Number of comments : 1875
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

False_Stupidity's page activity

Visits<b>themonstaman</b> - 18 hours ago<b>v8nick97</b> - 20 hours ago<b>petrolhead</b> - yesterday at 11:23pm<b>lexie_danielle</b> - yesterday at 8:30pm<b>buckdharma</b> - yesterday at 6:35pm<b>Fooflybag</b> - yesterday at 2:23pm<b>nomoremrnicegirl</b> - yesterday at 9:48am<b>Roskie</b> - yesterday at 6:28am<b>Chaoticthor</b> - yesterday at 5:26am<b>jucielucie9542</b> - yesterday at 5:00am<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:12am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:43pm<b>ThisDirtyDreamer</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:29am<b>fmlgiraffe</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Sam_A16_</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:08pm<b>the_mantlist</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:37pm<b>facebag</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:28pm

False_Stupidity's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of False_Stupidity's badges

False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (5836)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (1460)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10669) - you deserved it (36745)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (2496)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (2830)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (2830)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24180) - you deserved it (2334)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13094) - you deserved it (24585)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (1582)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62276) - you deserved it (5027)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (4817)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6840) - you deserved it (46693)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (1639)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (4241)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: