Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

False_Stupidity

Search for a member

False_Stupidity
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1975 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 2678
  • Number of comments : 1627
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

False_Stupidity's last visitors

redraven88calvo_07BunchieRulesxTrepidationBree_modechickinblue

False_Stupidity's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of False_Stupidity's badges

False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47446) - you deserved it (4346)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (9111)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (3632)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34794) - you deserved it (4447)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

#20427017
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51504) - you deserved it (3625)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (5283)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (23389)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (23018)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51204) - you deserved it (9253)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (3705)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (8468)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71968) - you deserved it (8401)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14262) - you deserved it (55677)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: