Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

False_Stupidity

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

False_Stupidity

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1975 (38 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3888
  • Number of comments : 1874
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

False_Stupidity's page activity

Visits<b>themonstaman</b> - 3 hours ago<b>v8nick97</b> - 4 hours ago<b>petrolhead</b> - 14 hours ago<b>lexie_danielle</b> - 17 hours ago<b>buckdharma</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Fooflybag</b> - 23 hours ago<b>nomoremrnicegirl</b> - yesterday at 9:48am<b>Roskie</b> - yesterday at 6:28am<b>Chaoticthor</b> - yesterday at 5:26am<b>jucielucie9542</b> - yesterday at 5:00am<b>Pandaburr1</b> - yesterday at 3:12am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - yesterday at 10:12pm<b>Welshite</b> - yesterday at 8:43pm<b>ThisDirtyDreamer</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:29am<b>fmlgiraffe</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Sam_A16_</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:08pm<b>the_mantlist</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:37pm<b>facebag</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:28pm

False_Stupidity's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of False_Stupidity's badges

False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (4149)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44027) - you deserved it (4801)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67949) - you deserved it (4142)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

#20689016
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44526) - you deserved it (8324)

On 05/27/2013 at 9:42am - animals - by Nearly Crashed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86219) - you deserved it (5465)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (3394)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27940) - you deserved it (5961)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (19665)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (2040)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (4540) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (2960)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29823) - you deserved it (9315)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: