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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 September 1965 (50 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9064
  • Number of comments : 3137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (4688)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (5331)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (13074)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47009) - you deserved it (5622)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44375) - you deserved it (7280)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56731) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41783) - you deserved it (3033)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54171) - you deserved it (5656)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37073) - you deserved it (3681)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49632) - you deserved it (3352)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41697) - you deserved it (7101)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49082) - you deserved it (2986)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

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