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False_Stupidity

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False_Stupidity
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1975 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 2659
  • Number of comments : 1627
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37062) - you deserved it (2412)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49537) - you deserved it (5105)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (2441)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44200) - you deserved it (2750)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (6056)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42373) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (4641)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62504) - you deserved it (3362)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

#20689016
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (8002)

On 05/27/2013 at 9:42am - animals - by Nearly Crashed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78903) - you deserved it (4369)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML



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