Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

False_Stupidity

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

False_Stupidity

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 September 1975 (38 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4294
  • Number of comments : 2011
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along












... See!
I told you there was nothing here, but you just had to look!

False_Stupidity's page activity

Visits<b>julako</b> - 3 hours ago<b>theinformer</b> - 4 hours ago<b>mrhe3t</b> - 4 hours ago<b>the_outsider</b> - 5 hours ago<b>SaphiraSR</b> - 5 hours ago<b>almightyteapot</b> - 5 hours ago<b>TiiBags</b> - 6 hours ago<b>minauto</b> - 7 hours ago<b>MissBubblesXoxo</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Meettitan</b> - 7 hours ago<b>btwmellarkc</b> - 9 hours ago<b>RvBCaboose</b> - 9 hours ago<b>clevelandcolt</b> - 9 hours ago<b>2ophiia</b> - 10 hours ago<b>NPN_Scorpio</b> - 10 hours ago<b>skittle_QUEEN_YO</b> - 13 hours ago<b>lanah</b> - 13 hours ago<b>mystery_user</b> - 13 hours ago

Liked!<b>ItsAlly</b> - 8 hours ago<b>BakenWake420</b> - 14 hours ago<b>TheViPeRisT</b> - 16 hours ago<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - 16 hours ago<b>thorus</b> - 21 hours ago

False_Stupidity's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of False_Stupidity's badges

False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (9448)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (9600)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42534) - you deserved it (6064)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56825) - you deserved it (4372)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44189) - you deserved it (8310)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37706) - you deserved it (20042)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41716) - you deserved it (8506)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41513) - you deserved it (6650)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (2960)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41230) - you deserved it (4655)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63997) - you deserved it (5056)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: