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False_Stupidity

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False_Stupidity

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False_StupidityFalse_Stupidity
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 September 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7305
  • Number of comments : 2758
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along












... See!
I told you there was nothing here, but you just had to look!

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (3090)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11) - you deserved it (4843)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30114) - you deserved it (4100)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45846) - you deserved it (2107)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (4290)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (6298)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45963) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52710) - you deserved it (10544)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (9941)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (6162)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57085) - you deserved it (4384)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45146) - you deserved it (8474)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38874) - you deserved it (20801)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (8575)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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