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Falkin0113

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Falkin0113
  • Town/Country : Austin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3019
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

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Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (63621)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54522) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38660) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49664) - you deserved it (19875)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (8415)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45995) - you deserved it (2407)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing hysterically, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36102) - you deserved it (2464)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43313) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (6030)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47096) - you deserved it (2366)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33705) - you deserved it (6131)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43339) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (18651)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43468) - you deserved it (2700)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)



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