About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.
Falkin0113's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Falkin0113's favorite FMLs
Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 2:25am / United States (New York) / Love
by NotInTheRightPlace / 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by JustClaire95 / 03/17/2014 at 7:58am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by sh3lbst3r / 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by v1k1rox / 03/05/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Money
by adopted / 03/03/2014 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Kids
by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Lori_ftw / 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Work
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my… Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand,… Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate.…