About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.
Falkin0113's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Falkin0113's favorite FMLs
Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML
by nikaea / 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
by Female Struggles / 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by dieana / 05/16/2014 at 8:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by iworkatofficedepothomes / 05/15/2014 at 8:02am / United States (California) / Work
by chellegbelle / 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work
by ColoredPencil13 / 05/10/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML
by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health
by melmel / 05/05/2014 at 1:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML
by missmom83 / 04/24/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
- Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets… Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at… Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like,…