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Falkin0113

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Falkin0113
  • Town/Country : Austin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3020
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

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Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (10732)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (4145)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19222) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (2934)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (7320)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (33633)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

#20454301
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (45286)

On 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by lostmyfaithinblowjobs (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33074) - you deserved it (3450)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37287) - you deserved it (6146)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (8290)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25664) - you deserved it (1826)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (8471)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9599) - you deserved it (20845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47722) - you deserved it (4600)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States



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