Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falkin0113

Search for a member

Falkin0113

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4657
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:28pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:10am<b>GothicKnife</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:20am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:16pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:49am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:37pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:23am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:51pm<b>redwings1340</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:01am<b>CptBarker</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:15pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:29pm<b>lannisters</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:42am<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:03pm<b>cosmicriver</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:08am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:49am

Falkin0113's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33858) - you deserved it (5281)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (5633)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

#20510343
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28723) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (9259)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28180) - you deserved it (5955)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29425) - you deserved it (6904)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (5445)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (2759)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (9357)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21336) - you deserved it (14340)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (8403)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39812) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: