Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falkin0113

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 11:09pm) | Search for a member

Falkin0113

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14551
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>ronzi</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:16pm<b>scoobs231</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:25pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:48am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:24pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:12am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Amdojin</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:20am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:52pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 4:43pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:44am<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:04pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Flaco78</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:20pm<b>differentadi</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:10am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 3:03pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:38pm

Falkin0113's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19486) - you deserved it (37172)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (62037)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (9450)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37422) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49563) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (3258)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

#20536189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27033) - you deserved it (3558)

On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (2160)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16950) - you deserved it (54786)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33108) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (3948)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43716) - you deserved it (6195)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (2918)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: