About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.
Falkin0113's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Falkin0113's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Gibbster_ / 06/20/2014 at 1:05am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML
by latinalocks / 06/20/2014 at 12:59am / United States / Work
Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML
by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by cheap / 06/18/2014 at 9:42am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Money
Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML
by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 8:26am / United Kingdom / Health
by mydatinglifesucks / 06/15/2014 at 2:31am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
- Today, I am so used to driving with my girlfriend in the car, I accidentally called my sister babe.… Today, my housemate called a house meeting. She opened the meeting by asking me to find a new place… Today, well, last night, I woke up feeling as though I was about to puke. I rushed over to my trash…