Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falkin0113

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

Falkin0113

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5300
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:38am<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:28pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:10am<b>GothicKnife</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:20am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:16pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:49am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:37pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:23am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:51pm<b>redwings1340</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:01am<b>CptBarker</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:15pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:29pm<b>lannisters</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:42am<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:03pm<b>cosmicriver</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:08am

Falkin0113's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32675) - you deserved it (6800)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

#20546477
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (3167)

On 03/16/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Dat Stanky Mouf (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (7034)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15925) - you deserved it (57665) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (5358)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15227) - you deserved it (29580)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48460) - you deserved it (5523)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50785) - you deserved it (6555)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33139) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45410) - you deserved it (7960)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (5758)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: