About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39728) - you deserved it (2939)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17052) - you deserved it (29725)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3671)
On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (2432)
On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (1732)
On 01/20/2013 at 7:27am - work - by musicalrose_21 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm - misc - by sophietr8 (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (13853)
On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (5014)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31935) - you deserved it (1621)
On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29478) - you deserved it (2732)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26136) - you deserved it (10131) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (1280)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24044) - you deserved it (8110)
On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (2374)
On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (3631)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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