Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falkin0113

Search for a member

Falkin0113

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4436
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>inner_peace</b> - yesterday at 10:26pm<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:57pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:10am<b>GothicKnife</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:20am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:16pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:49am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:37pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:23am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:51pm<b>redwings1340</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:01am<b>CptBarker</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:15pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:29pm<b>lannisters</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:42am<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:03pm<b>cosmicriver</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:08am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:49am

Falkin0113's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50015) - you deserved it (3944)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (19805)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42201) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (3813)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40288) - you deserved it (4061)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (3483)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
108 comments

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37383) - you deserved it (3942)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (3926)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (7793)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47535) - you deserved it (3571)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: