Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falkin0113

Online | Search for a member

Falkin0113

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8064
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:44am<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:04pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Flaco78</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:20pm<b>differentadi</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:10am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 3:03pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:38pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:02am<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:16am<b>RisanShine</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:31pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:30am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:11am<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:18pm<b>thedeej</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:16am<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:28am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:07am

Falkin0113's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44507) - you deserved it (13303)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (21842)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54574) - you deserved it (6719)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40809) - you deserved it (4368)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47098) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51444) - you deserved it (5822)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46755) - you deserved it (5153)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67589) - you deserved it (4141)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (4927)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59551) - you deserved it (25826)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49236) - you deserved it (4798)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49403) - you deserved it (17605)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: