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Falkin0113

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Falkin0113
  • Town/Country : Austin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3031
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

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Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7533) - you deserved it (866)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
92 comments

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33213) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (3665)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (6727)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42899) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (4444)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35386) - you deserved it (10056)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (5266)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47262) - you deserved it (4098)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36707) - you deserved it (3407)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (42653)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58313) - you deserved it (4985)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)



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