Ez2bnoz

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Ez2bnoz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3494
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Ez2bnoz : Insert pretentious stuff about myself here. You can message me if you like. I don't bite. ;) unless you like that...then I bite. :b

Ez2bnoz's page activity

Visits<b>rockstar321</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Blackcatluck</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 10:59pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Kayla_Marie1237</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:56pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:41pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:21pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 5:15am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:07am<b>julia1515</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 7:07pm<b>TanyaCat</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:13pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm<b>Beanie2012</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 1:04am<b>shibeep</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:28pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:42pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 11:10am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:04am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:10am

Ez2bnoz's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ez2bnoz's badges

Ez2bnoz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm / Brazil / Health

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

by stupidapperently / 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm / United States / Work

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

by jeoak / 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm / India / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

by Creeped out / 01/28/2013 at 3:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

by dynah114 / 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous