Ez2bnoz

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Ez2bnoz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3585
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Ez2bnoz : Insert pretentious stuff about myself here. You can message me if you like. I don't bite. ;) unless you like that...then I bite. :b

Ez2bnoz's page activity

Visits<b>rockstar321</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Blackcatluck</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 10:59pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Kayla_Marie1237</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:56pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:41pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:21pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 5:15am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:07am<b>julia1515</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 7:07pm<b>TanyaCat</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:13pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm<b>Beanie2012</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 1:04am<b>shibeep</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:28pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:42pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 11:10am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:04am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:10am

Ez2bnoz's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ez2bnoz's badges

Ez2bnoz's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

by Zanovitch / 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

by Myballshurt / 08/03/2013 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was eating cereal, my mother thought it would be appropriate to grab the bowl and start spoon-feeding me while making airplane noises, again. I'm 19. FML

by nela25 / 07/30/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

by LeaveTheGuyAlone / 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

by ttREZZ / 07/27/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.