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EsotericAura's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
EsotericAura's favorite FMLs
by yourebeautiful / 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love
by steve / 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm / United States / Animals
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
by anna / 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by imamomma / 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
by This girl / 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML
by dealingdave / 12/19/2011 at 7:24am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML
by suhleedah18 / 12/19/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Health
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by lucas / 12/12/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by skidmark / 12/08/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…