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Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (4374)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (6352)
On 05/27/2011 at 1:26am - misc - by moe - United States
Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (13035)
On 05/25/2011 at 10:10pm - work - by wtffireworks! - United States
Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (23425)
Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (2165)
On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (6143)
On 05/23/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (3027)
On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (3219)
On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (2439)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (21134)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (2404)
On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (3491)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30615) - you deserved it (5698)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (1919)
On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (3323)
On 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by K-9cop (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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