EsotericAura

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EsotericAura

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5503
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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EsotericAura's page activity

Visits<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - 56 minutes ago<b>Rababco</b> - 24 hours ago<b>catherinecas</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:26pm<b>vitalidol</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm<b>Natsu_Salamander</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 6:43am<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:20am<b>kawayi</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Kallian</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:56pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:03pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 11:56am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:47am<b>feebae</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 4:54am<b>Xandrick</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Naruffy</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:43pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:30pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:31am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:08am

Fucked!<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:28pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:16am

EsotericAura's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of EsotericAura's badges

EsotericAura's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

by crazyman. / 05/12/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

by lon01t / 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

by lexii / 05/05/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Animals

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

by big steve / 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

by great / 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States / Work

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm / Miscellaneous