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Epic_Fail_Sauce

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Epic_Fail_Sauce

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37780
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Epic_Fail_Sauce : My fave comment ---> OH GOD!!!! My favorite FML thus far...So many possibilities with this one.
-you've created Man-spider ( Spiderman's new arch nemesis)
-the spider will now eat you in your sleep, since you have mated
-the spider might have laid eggs in your dack-hole=new urban legend...
-your next busted nut will consist of baby spiders and not sperm
-your next busted nut will consist of cob-webs
-you are the first man to have made love to a spider=new fetish
-FML from the spider..."After a long day, I was really tired and found a warm home in a sock. I was awakened by an earthquake..which turned out to actually be me getting raped by the biggest cock I have ever seen. FML !!"

Epic_Fail_Sauce's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:33pm<b>kitkat388</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:05pm<b>masterofflight</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:17am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:29pm<b>Sanrio90</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 7:27am<b>Tormented28</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:13am<b>mrhahn530</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 6:01pm<b>hebda</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 3:14am<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 4:35pm<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 2:24am<b>0592635</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 9:17pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 7:30pm<b>fmlfyl</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 3:39pm<b>jrock94</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 10:12am<b>Talkative1</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 10:46pm<b>crayonwalrus</b> - the 04/04/2009 at 3:01pm<b>lo_chupaaa</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 6:00pm

Epic_Fail_Sauce's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Epic_Fail_Sauce's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

#677101
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66844) - you deserved it (10288)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78999) - you deserved it (163266)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (19826)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

#668061
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45437) - you deserved it (26900)

On 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by thathurt (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (83896)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

#663425
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110852) - you deserved it (4588)

On 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

#662645
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (77517)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114196) - you deserved it (12593)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66278) - you deserved it (12642)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137967) - you deserved it (6214)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

#656486
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49974) - you deserved it (22840)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

#656486
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49974) - you deserved it (22840)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

#654050
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60600) - you deserved it (6612)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

#653658
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90418) - you deserved it (8929)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

#651066
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30758) - you deserved it (76494)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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