Epic_Fail_Sauce

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Epic_Fail_Sauce

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41805
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Epic_Fail_Sauce : My fave comment ---> OH GOD!!!! My favorite FML thus far...So many possibilities with this one.
-you've created Man-spider ( Spiderman's new arch nemesis)
-the spider will now eat you in your sleep, since you have mated
-the spider might have laid eggs in your dack-hole=new urban legend...
-your next busted nut will consist of baby spiders and not sperm
-your next busted nut will consist of cob-webs
-you are the first man to have made love to a spider=new fetish
-FML from the spider..."After a long day, I was really tired and found a warm home in a sock. I was awakened by an earthquake..which turned out to actually be me getting raped by the biggest cock I have ever seen. FML !!"

Epic_Fail_Sauce's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:33pm<b>kitkat388</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:05pm<b>masterofflight</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:17am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:29pm<b>Sanrio90</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 7:27am<b>Tormented28</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:13am<b>mrhahn530</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 6:01pm<b>hebda</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 3:14am<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 4:35pm<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 2:24am<b>0592635</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 9:17pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 7:30pm<b>fmlfyl</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 3:39pm<b>jrock94</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 10:12am<b>Talkative1</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 10:46pm<b>crayonwalrus</b> - the 04/04/2009 at 3:01pm<b>lo_chupaaa</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 6:00pm

Epic_Fail_Sauce's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Epic_Fail_Sauce's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

by gotmon3y / 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 11:51am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

by dfhgblsf / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

by manlyman / 04/05/2009 at 9:32am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2009 at 5:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

by ShamedJP / 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

by herANDi / 04/03/2009 at 2:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

by darlingditz / 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 6:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML

by nokeys / 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Transportation