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Epic_Fail_Sauce

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Epic_Fail_Sauce

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37966
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Epic_Fail_Sauce : My fave comment ---> OH GOD!!!! My favorite FML thus far...So many possibilities with this one.
-you've created Man-spider ( Spiderman's new arch nemesis)
-the spider will now eat you in your sleep, since you have mated
-the spider might have laid eggs in your dack-hole=new urban legend...
-your next busted nut will consist of baby spiders and not sperm
-your next busted nut will consist of cob-webs
-you are the first man to have made love to a spider=new fetish
-FML from the spider..."After a long day, I was really tired and found a warm home in a sock. I was awakened by an earthquake..which turned out to actually be me getting raped by the biggest cock I have ever seen. FML !!"

Epic_Fail_Sauce's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:33pm<b>kitkat388</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:05pm<b>masterofflight</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:17am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:29pm<b>Sanrio90</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 7:27am<b>Tormented28</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:13am<b>mrhahn530</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 6:01pm<b>hebda</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 3:14am<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 4:35pm<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 2:24am<b>0592635</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 9:17pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 7:30pm<b>fmlfyl</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 3:39pm<b>jrock94</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 10:12am<b>Talkative1</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 10:46pm<b>crayonwalrus</b> - the 04/04/2009 at 3:01pm<b>lo_chupaaa</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 6:00pm

Epic_Fail_Sauce's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Epic_Fail_Sauce's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69874) - you deserved it (8091)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59237) - you deserved it (5401)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML

#1251660
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (63049)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (83746)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23814) - you deserved it (74084)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92561) - you deserved it (17342)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (36997)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML

#1218026
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72930) - you deserved it (5905)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Bo (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

#1188952
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (10377)

On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

#1144667
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79022) - you deserved it (3186)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML

#1067181
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11023) - you deserved it (72235)

On 04/17/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by grampsisgay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58165) - you deserved it (6647)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11204) - you deserved it (58472)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (309657)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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