About EpicSquishii : Hello All,
Just a couple of things before you message me, because I'm getting the same message over and over.
1.) My mustache is lush and luxurious, I know. Of course you love it. You can't NOT love it, it's impossible not to adore and covet such a manly mustache.
2. I know you can see the tops of my boobs in my profile picture. They're boobs, everyone has them. You don't have to mention them, as I'm well aware of every single aspect of the tops of my boobs that you could ever possibly point out.
(Disclaimer: If you have gone through any mastectomies, and therefore have no boobs, please feel free to message me about boobs, as I would probably very much enjoy that conversation.)
3. This is not a dating site. I'm not interested in any "You're (insert lame, cliche compliment about aforementioned boobs or mustache here) LOL ;) we should talk!" messages. Send them to someone else.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play his XBOX360 for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (4359)
On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was waiting for a delivery between 9am-8pm. At 7:30 pm, I finally decided to have a 3 minute (desperately needed) shower. During which time the delivery man came. I ran down the street in a towel that barely covered me. He was driving away looking at me in the mirror laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (7531)
On 09/18/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by calamityjosie (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (1685)
On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40003) - you deserved it (3135)
On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7050) - you deserved it (30040)
On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83020) - you deserved it (3339)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15390) - you deserved it (35210)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58377) - you deserved it (3286)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (241147) - you deserved it (20537)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:21am - love - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47593) - you deserved it (10252)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137315) - you deserved it (20763)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta
Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (73253)
On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you deserved it (29205)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6065) - you deserved it (47150)
On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (31068)
On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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