EpicSquishii

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Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 12:45am)

EpicSquishii

56Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9615
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>MitchRapp</b> - 21 hours ago<b>DMEN469</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:21pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:17am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:42am<b>Srxjo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:10pm<b>TheFeels</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 1:37am<b>xfireds</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:13pm<b>taco_warrior17</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:12am<b>itsuniversal</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 4:48am<b>manofmerr</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 4:10am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 11:00pm<b>completenonsense</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:27pm<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 8:10pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 4:35am<b>ebroks</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:39am<b>NightHawk4926</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 1:13am<b>oh2hell</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 8:23am

Fucked!<b>completenonsense</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:27pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:30pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:08pm<b>xyris</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:49am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:53am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Panu</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:33am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:27am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:00am<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:55pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:05am<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:11am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:15am<b>crossl16</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:42am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:28am

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

by ouchmytits / 03/28/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

by drebel / 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

by storyofmylife / 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

by cloud7 / 12/26/2010 at 10:40pm / Health

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 10:16am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 12:05am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

by worthless / 11/09/2010 at 9:11pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

by ringhider / 10/08/2010 at 12:55pm / France (Lorraine) / Love

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

by cinderella / 09/27/2010 at 10:47am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

by Aaron / 08/26/2010 at 1:33am / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

by superhero1043 / 05/14/2010 at 1:01am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML