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EpicSquishii

Offline (the 07/21/2014 at 2:34am) | Search for a member

EpicSquishii

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6177
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - 3 hours ago<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:01pm<b>xxlowsnip3rxx</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:19am<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Ch0sen</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:08am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:03am<b>alex1010</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:05am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:32am<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:12am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:52pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:25pm<b>DianeYoung</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:13am<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:52pm<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:32am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:46pm<b>DaFoo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:41pm

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (6685)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

#18793315
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29748) - you deserved it (4917)

On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33125) - you deserved it (9174)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (27045) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

#18528339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm - money - by Cano951 - United States

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

#18510886
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (2467)

On 12/14/2011 at 11:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (41209)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (39200)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30133) - you deserved it (5245)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30148) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

#17424744
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (9045)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18328) - you deserved it (93841)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17453) - you deserved it (61265)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

#16301651
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49465) - you deserved it (3850)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML



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