EpicSquishii

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Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 12:45am)

EpicSquishii

56Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9797
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>jessal</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Wolfo06</b> - yesterday at 10:56pm<b>Fnyrri</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:58pm<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 2:48pm<b>thinkaboutit5</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 8:24am<b>ikeb</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 1:55pm<b>1991stealth</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 1:50pm<b>16416</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 6:44am<b>supertrampk</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 8:20am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:41am<b>DMEN469</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:21pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:17am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:42am<b>Srxjo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:10pm<b>TheFeels</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 1:37am<b>xfireds</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:13pm<b>taco_warrior17</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:12am<b>itsuniversal</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:22pm

Fucked!<b>completenonsense</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:27pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:30pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:08pm<b>xyris</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:49am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:53am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Panu</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:33am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:27am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:00am<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:55pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:05am<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:11am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:15am<b>crossl16</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:42am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:28am

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

by sillvy / 01/13/2012 at 4:32am / United States / Love

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

by Kevin / 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

by Cano951 / 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm / United States / Money

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 11:53am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Holidays

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

by Gabriela / 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

by Adoptee / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Kids

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

by kekeroos / 05/20/2011 at 11:17am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.