About EpicSquishii : Hello All,
Just a couple of things before you message me, because I'm getting the same message over and over.
1.) My mustache is lush and luxurious, I know. Of course you love it. You can't NOT love it, it's impossible not to adore and covet such a manly mustache.
2. I know you can see the tops of my boobs in my profile picture. They're boobs, everyone has them. You don't have to mention them, as I'm well aware of every single aspect of the tops of my boobs that you could ever possibly point out.
(Disclaimer: If you have gone through any mastectomies, and therefore have no boobs, please feel free to message me about boobs, as I would probably very much enjoy that conversation.)
3. This is not a dating site. I'm not interested in any "You're (insert lame, cliche compliment about aforementioned boobs or mustache here) LOL ;) we should talk!" messages. Send them to someone else.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (5409)
On 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (3648)
On 04/19/2012 at 2:00pm - love - by amber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend came with me to my first prenatal gynecologist appointment. Half way through the pap smear, I look over and see him grinning pervertedly and staring down the doctor's shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (3272)
On 02/14/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by unicorn - United States
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (6981)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (1549)
On 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm - money - by Cano951 - United States
Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (1736)
On 12/14/2011 at 11:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10131) - you deserved it (30098)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10976) - you deserved it (27646)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (4007)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (6904)
On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (46416)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (2183)
On 05/20/2011 at 11:17am - health - by kekeroos (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35478) - you deserved it (3729)
On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35686) - you deserved it (22879)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (3736)
On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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