EpicSquishii

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Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 12:45am)

EpicSquishii

54Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9066
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>jon_894b</b> - 7 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:07pm<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:23am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:34pm<b>serpent_king</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:23am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 12:17pm<b>aj105</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:26am<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:50am<b>skylea5</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Dxstant</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 4:42am<b>angrykid11</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:16am<b>waffleminer25</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:14am<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:43pm<b>MBrabs1996</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:07pm<b>teachermadchem</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:17pm<b>hare</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:56am<b>hereforfmls</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:43am<b>ELNiN0</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:33am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:08pm<b>xyris</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:49am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:53am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Panu</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:33am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:27am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:00am<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:55pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:05am<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:11am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:15am<b>crossl16</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:42am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:28am<b>paravoz</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:17am<b>krazayman</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:48pm

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

by ShadowReiku / 12/13/2012 at 3:39am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 3:31am / United States / Health

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

by NotSpiderman / 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

by scarredforlife / 08/16/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

by eddie818 / 06/10/2012 at 3:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

by facepalm / 06/06/2012 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

by amber / 04/19/2012 at 2:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love