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EpicSquishii

Offline (the 10/23/2014 at 12:35am) | Search for a member

EpicSquishii

17Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7512
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>MiguelRojas</b> - 15 hours ago<b>jpc1995</b> - yesterday at 9:35am<b>maytylar</b> - yesterday at 5:23pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - yesterday at 4:45pm<b>FilamaznPride</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:14am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:57am<b>Failed_Engineer</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:02am<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:21am<b>illumanati</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:31pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:30pm<b>FancyKnightMan</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:15pm<b>Lunallia</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:49am<b>jmon707</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:02am<b>UsernameBetch</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>hatorade79</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:29pm

Liked!<b>FancyKnightMan</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:15pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:42pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:10am<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:12pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:51pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kaycrazyy</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 6:34am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 10:04pm<b>McDiabeeto</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:29pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:27am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:42am<b>alanvazquez1</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:04am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:15am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:47am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:26am

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time!! I went slowly to build up the excitement, an I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." an told me to stop embarrassing him!! FML

#20399775
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34208) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

TODAY, ONE OF THE GIRLSHO HAS MADE IT HER JOB TO RUIN MAH LIFE CORNERD ME IN THE HALLWAY AT SCHOOL . SHE TRID TO INSULT ME, AN 4 THE FIRST TIME IN MAH LIFE I HAD A SCATHING COMEBACK . MY ELATION QUICKLY ENDEDHEN SHE VIOLENTLY SHOVD MAH FACE INTO THE WATER FOUNTAIN . FML

my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity!! She was worried cuz I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap!! FML

#20397574
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (1562)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah drunk girlfriend maxed out mah credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay .

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (4724)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was told I will ba having twins; this cummad as a shock sinca thara r no twins in mah family. Whan I askad mah mom about it, sha said that sha wasn't surprisad and not to worry about it cuz sha had "absorbad har twin" and that tha problam would "taka cara of itsalf." maga FML

#20154574
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (1705)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I Overhered Mah Mom Talking On The Phone With Mah Sister About How Much They Hate Mah Fiancé. My Wedding Is In Two Weeks And Mah Family Has Been Pretending To Like Mah Future Husband 4 Three Yeres. Mega FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21148) - you deserved it (1781)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, I DISCOVERD A BROWN RECLUSE SPIDER IN MY HOUSE. BEFORE I COULD SMASH IT, IT ESCAPD UNDER THE DOOR. NOW I'M FREAKD OUT AND WEARING BOOTS AND GLOVES, CLUTCHING AT MY KITTENS AND WAITING FIR IT TO APPEAR. MY DAD LAUGHS EVERYTIME HE WALKS PAST. MEGA FML

#20141607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20369) - you deserved it (3986)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realizd why mah sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (1561)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today , I finally realized how depressed I amhen I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. mega FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31559) - you deserved it (2527)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bd as I expectd; instead, she laid in the bathtub an crid every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, an she's using her bra as a lasso 4 variou object in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (2656)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, mah mother is trying to convince me to divorce mah husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

#19742769
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25149) - you deserved it (2714)

On 06/06/2012 at 4:06am - love - by facepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cummed home earlier than usual, only to fine my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to bieng confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no ideahat to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44700) - you deserved it (3432)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

2day I decidd not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I lookd ill. real FML

#19532627
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (6199)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, mah boyfriend gave me acne cream 4 mah birthday . FML

#19495820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (4359)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:00pm - love - by amber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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