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EpicSquishii

Offline (the 07/21/2014 at 2:34am) | Search for a member

EpicSquishii

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6055
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - 17 hours ago<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - yesterday at 9:32am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:46pm<b>DaFoo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Goodliife</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Tiiger1890</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:25pm<b>infinix</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:17pm<b>AE101</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:21pm<b>spa97</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:24am<b>kabza</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:54am<b>missangelali</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:50pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:35pm<b>sean0930</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:45am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:51am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:51pm<b>evan4guitar</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:29am<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:44pm<b>AnneMoresk</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:13pm

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43039) - you deserved it (6246)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50485) - you deserved it (2957)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

#20871260
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51110) - you deserved it (4360)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (44038)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54016) - you deserved it (18144)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52034) - you deserved it (4455)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53317) - you deserved it (4047)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42265) - you deserved it (16662)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41288) - you deserved it (8837)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55242) - you deserved it (3693)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML



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