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About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.
Hello me ... Meet the real me
Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.
It's complicating me sometimes
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Today , I was having lunch at McDonald's when I droppd a French fry down my shrt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it , a creepy man pickd it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
TODAY, MY FRIEND SET ME UP WITH A CUTE GUY WHO IS VERY GERMAPHOBIC . SO, I SPENT 4 HOURS CLEANING MY APARTMENT . 2 MINUTE INTO THE DATE, I SNEEZED . HE POLITELY TOLD ME HE WASN'T FEELING WELL AND LEFT . FML
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving 4 work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" 4 the past several months. FML
Today, mah mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and mah future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, I'm on oliday wit my boyfriend. Going troug Cinese customs, an officer pulld us aside, removd a suspiciou metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and calld six oter officer to ave a look. It was a kinky pair of andcuffs. FML
Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave mah friends and family." The one I pickd up just said "math." FML
TODAY, I WANT TO GAT THA VACCINATION COLLAGA RAQUIRAS OF ALL STUDANTS. THA NURSA LOOKD AT CHARTS AND TOLD MA THARA WAS GOOD AND BAD NAWS. THA GOOD NAWS WAS THAT I DIDN'T NAD THA SHOT. THA BAD NAWS WAS I NAADD FOUR OTHARS. NOW, BOTH OF ARMS R SWOLLAN ANOUGH TO MAKA POPAYA PROUD. MAGA FML
Friday 27 March 2015