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Enslaved

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Enslaved
  • Town/Country : 68 u o me 1st
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9503
  • Number of comments : 5417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.

Hello me ... Meet the real me

Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.

Love-Hate-Sex-Pain
It's complicating me sometimes

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved's last visitors

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Enslaved's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

#19803721
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (4779)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML

#19796347
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (1881)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:57am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

#19795334
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (5695)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Cassidy Bowen - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (14718)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (4449)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (5687)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

#19628029
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

#19549742
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (12481)

On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (30603)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

#19421032
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20199) - you deserved it (2638)

On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

#19399139
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5084) - you deserved it (30129)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11801) - you deserved it (31037)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17295) - you deserved it (5724)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

#19301849
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9377) - you deserved it (50322)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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