Enslaved

Search for a member

Online

Enslaved

209Fucked!

EnslavedEnslaved
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 19398
  • Number of comments : 6392
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.

Hello me ... Meet the real me

Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.

Love-Hate-Sex-Pain
It's complicating me sometimes

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved's page activity

Visits<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - 6 hours ago<b>weirdncrazy</b> - 16 hours ago<b>OmgimBored</b> - yesterday at 1:25pm<b>hunter1019</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:23pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:11pm<b>aussilynn3312</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:33pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:31pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:44am<b>young_cat_lady</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:43am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:42am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:15am<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 10:15pm<b>frostedfoster</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 8:58pm<b>rolso</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 8:23pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 3:17pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 8:20pm<b>RealChewyPiano</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 5:53pm

Fucked!<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - 13 hours ago<b>OmgimBored</b> - yesterday at 5:09pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:14am<b>weedle99</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 6:37pm<b>asiansapphire</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 5:15am<b>The_Big_Boss</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:40am<b>peeta0330</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 4:43pm<b>quibz90</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 6:58pm<b>salii321</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:55pm<b>masschris</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 12:23am<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 6:54am<b>awesomeamandas</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 1:58am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 2:01am<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:28am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:51pm<b>lambda</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:45am<b>ohgoodlordjen</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:24am<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 6:04am

Enslaved's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Enslaved's badges

Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

by Syd / 12/21/2012 at 11:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 6:27am / Israel / Kids

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

by Clementine / 11/27/2012 at 6:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

by mommycooks / 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

by BulldogHoops / 11/12/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

by shit.... / 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

by i fking love docb / 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Love

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy