About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.
Hello me ... Meet the real me
Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.
Love-Hate-Sex-Pain
It's complicating me sometimes
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41986) - you deserved it (1590)
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20605) - you deserved it (3452)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States
Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (1848)
On 06/16/2012 at 9:57am - love - by anonymous - United States
Today, my husband texted me while I was sitting on the toilet, asking "Are you alright in there?" Apparently our thin walls and my constipation grunts made him worried that I was dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16469) - you deserved it (2943)
On 06/16/2012 at 7:18am - health - by FibreNeeded (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19287) - you deserved it (4301)
On 06/16/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Cassidy Bowen - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (10962)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22631) - you deserved it (3286)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18195) - you deserved it (2308)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (5223)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2343)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I gave a homeless guy a dollar. Instead of a simple "Thank you" I got an unwanted hug. I can't wash the pee smell off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16395) - you deserved it (4843)
On 04/30/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13477) - you deserved it (9441)
On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6749) - you deserved it (21857)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (2365)
On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4221) - you deserved it (22293)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada
Monday 20 May 2013
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