Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 18042
  • Number of comments : 6313
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.

Hello me ... Meet the real me

Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.

It's complicating me sometimes

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved's page activity

Visits<b>thefmlman2011</b> - 15 hours ago<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:07am<b>Creepto</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:06am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 1:22am<b>2011shadow85</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:23am<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:10pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:58am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:57am<b>mcilduff</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:43pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:24am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 8:23pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 2:31am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:15pm<b>pandachuk</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 5:09pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:28pm<b>vivala1</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:09pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 9:58pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 6:23pm

Fucked!<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:10am<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 9:31am<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 1:39am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:11pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Fetuskicker666</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:02am<b>zarrganaut</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:40am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:09pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:07am<b>RunIfYouCan</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:55am<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:48am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:32am<b>hfudge</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:55pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:11am<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:59am

Enslaved's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Enslaved's badges

Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64874) - you deserved it (14679)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53347) - you deserved it (6289)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32077) - you deserved it (35518)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML


I agree, your life sucks (65611) - you deserved it (14366)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67736) - you deserved it (15019)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (139720)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44981) - you deserved it (17618)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48463) - you deserved it (6820)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51073) - you deserved it (5195)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (45086)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (4135)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48677) - you deserved it (4980)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41212) - you deserved it (8760) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (5690)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46574) - you deserved it (5797)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: