Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 14726
  • Number of comments : 6102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.

Hello me ... Meet the real me

Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.

It's complicating me sometimes

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved's page activity

Visits<b>RyWillieMitch</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Roxy4102</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ricardof</b> - 7 hours ago<b>iAmPaul</b> - 8 hours ago<b>patrickalamo</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Animaldude55</b> - 16 hours ago<b>nicehotcupoftea</b> - 24 hours ago<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - yesterday at 4:25pm<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - yesterday at 3:02pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - yesterday at 3:02pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - yesterday at 2:51pm<b>anxiousaly</b> - yesterday at 2:33pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - yesterday at 1:40pm<b>ROMAD</b> - yesterday at 1:36pm<b>Theglc20</b> - yesterday at 9:52am<b>rosiemont07</b> - yesterday at 9:31am<b>BritSkits</b> - yesterday at 9:27am<b>kellilynn</b> - yesterday at 7:01am

Liked!<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - 22 hours ago<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:28am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:36pm<b>kjax</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:20am<b>hasbeen</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:47pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 3:25pm<b>blcusername</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:04pm<b>15Erik</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:33am<b>Guraffe</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 3:33pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:48am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:37pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 6:42pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:26pm<b>Aspen_Grace33</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:26am<b>zeemonster424</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:51am<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:33pm

Enslaved's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Enslaved's badges

Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (42569)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37141) - you deserved it (4111)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46127) - you deserved it (4763)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39593) - you deserved it (8536) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (5363)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43021) - you deserved it (5409)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26328) - you deserved it (44294)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35129) - you deserved it (2953)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (13836)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (8919)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (4011)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (5808)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37288) - you deserved it (2957)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17019) - you deserved it (28552)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: